Saturday, January 14, 2006

Greetings Mr. Skull, You Get Right Under My Skin

Mr. Skull
Originally uploaded by magskall.

"It's not who you are - it's what you do that defines the kind of person you are." I have been hearing variations of this ever since the film Batman Begins (click link to read my friend's review of the film) was released. Actions do speak louder than words and those words have been getting under my skin. I'll be 36 this year and I am not happy where I am at in any respect.
Emotionally, professionally and spiritually I am so very far from where I thought I would be in life. But it isn't that I am so far away from my expectations, it is that I feel as though progress has been arrested and maybe even regressed. The span of time is nothing. When I was 25 turning 26, the five years that had passed seemed so very long. Time seems to go by at an incredible rate and yet Look back on 33 years of memories and it all seems so close to me. It's like having hands full of sand, trying to keep its slipping out to a trickle, but soon you have so little left. Tomorrow I am 40 and by the end of next week 65 going on 66 - so what do I have to show for myself? Nothing.
I do nothing worthwhile, ergo I am nothing/no one worthwhile. Time is flying by and I have a real sense of my mortality. The more I try to move somewhere the more resistance I meet. It is absurd.
Bah... don't mind me. I am frustrated about not being back at school working towards my teaching certificate. Frustrated that I have no money to pursue painting. I'll be fine someday, I promise.

BTW, the sketch is mine although the skull is not.

CD's in Play: Fugazi, The Argument. Can, Can Box Music (Live 1971-77)


Blogger Geosomin said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

16 January, 2006 14:42  
Blogger Geosomin said...

You turn 40 tomorrow? :) wow-happy birthday my friend.
(Just kidding, you can kick me next time you see me!)

It is strange how time just flies by without you really noticing isn't it?
Let me say this: Never think that you're not doing something. There are lulls and dull points in life, but there really is always someone or something that you are effecting in some way, whether you realise it or not. There are people who need you and take your presence and words to heart and although it can be discouraging sometimes, things change, as they always do and eventually they have to change for the better.
I know I sound like a chirpy optimist but life's put me through enough crap for me to know that things are always changing and there's times of good and utter bad and all manner of in between. I just try to enjoy the good when I get it and remember the good when the suckiness invades...and hope it doesn't stay too long.
Wishing you a better day my friend.

16 January, 2006 14:53  
Anonymous Trent said...

Just showing up to show you I'm here.

I've tried responding about three times, and I vacillate between wanting to bitch-slap you (as one of the most rawly talented people I know, it hurts me to see you sit and navel gaze and squander that talent...the rest of the world is so much more interesting. Even if you go gaze at some other people's navels. Preferably female navels.) and sympathize, cuz I keep falling into this place, too. But I can't really say anything that I haven't already said to your face.

So I'll just say hey. How's it hanging?

17 January, 2006 22:11  
Blogger Peter T Chattaway said...

I'll say "Hi" and add to the Hoy House social club atmosphere around here. :)

Somehow, I don't think I knew that you wanted to be a teacher. Maybe I did, and I forgot. Must be getting senile in my old age. ;)

18 January, 2006 09:03  
Blogger madstripey said...

i was 37
37 non married childless no man no mo
non wealthy jjjjjjezus wept as my mate would say
i'm a failure

19 January, 2006 10:41  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


13 June, 2009 20:30  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i think this blog sucks and it should not be alive sos and beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep hello dude and i dont care :( :)

13 June, 2009 20:32  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i poop alot alot alot alot alot alot and oh ya alot toodles beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
toodles again

13 June, 2009 20:33  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i live in Ohio and i live in Montana and i live in Japan so were do i live?

13 June, 2009 20:34  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

remember that one time when i was on that billboard yelling at random cars driving past flashing them and one of them said hey you up there were did your leg go and shut up and i yelled back it fell off my penis when i was running over to hug you and he said oh no you didn't

13 June, 2009 20:36  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i was just kidding he didnt say shut up he really said your boobs are huge is that were your foot went

13 June, 2009 20:37  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

one day when i was living by my self in a small town in the rural texas some guy came up and said you look hot. i then said please im way hotter then youll ever know and he said yes you are and i said i know thats what i just said and then he pulled down his pants and yelled i just farted. I then ran away.

13 June, 2009 20:41  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

im five years old and the hottest f-ing thing youll ever see. Sick thoughts are running through your head now :)

13 June, 2009 20:43  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

my sister is a bitch and she sucks ass she lies and is the rudest thing in the world if you want to die meat her you will die within ten seccends unless your me which sucks damb

13 June, 2009 20:47  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey Bee hows life?

13 June, 2009 20:47  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

life sucks Dan Kat died yesterday, got hit by a car

13 June, 2009 20:48  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

that sucks she was a great gal

13 June, 2009 20:49  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

tell me about it she lended me 50 thousand bucks just so i can keep my houseshe lost her electricity because of that

13 June, 2009 20:50  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you going to her funeral Bee?

13 June, 2009 20:51  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

no to painful Dan i really miss you remember when we had that all girls slumberparty and all the guys crashed it?

13 June, 2009 20:53  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ya that was the first time i hade a foursome with you Kat and Teeg

13 June, 2009 20:54  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

first time i realized i was a lesbian and that i loved you

13 June, 2009 20:55  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i know me too we really had a great Romance blooming there i really miss all those times i snuck over to your house to have sex

13 June, 2009 20:56  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

best sex ive ever had in my life g2g bye

13 June, 2009 20:57  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i love you call me

13 June, 2009 20:58  

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