Friday, December 16, 2005

God Marijuana

CD in Play: The Jesus and Mary Chain, I Hate Rock'n'Roll ep.

The following diatribe is not directed at hemp, a useful product that should be welcome back by the masses with open arms. I am also not against medicinal marijuana, having witnessed its usefulness in cancer treatment first hand and its benefits for treating things like glaucoma and HIV/AIDS.

I hate marijuana. I hate its many names and related euphemisms - Ganjika (Sanskrit), Ganja (modern Indian term), Gage, Spliff, Blunt, Nug, Nugs or Nuggets, Bob Hope, Bud, Bobby Brown, brown (resin), brown frown (low quality), brown budha, cess, cheeba, cheg (very small amount of resin), chronic (high quality), course notes, dagga, dak, dank, diesel (low quality resin), dodo, dope, doobage, doja, draw, dro (derived from hydroponics), eighth (standard quantity used for trading - 1/8 imperial ounce), electric puha (from puha, a plant in New Zealand), fire, frodis (from The Monkees), funk, grade - good quality bud, grass, hash (hashish, arabic for grass), hay, herb, indo or endo, instaga, IZM, jimmy, Kevin Bacon (euphemism for kind bud), kind (short for kind bud), kushempeng, lamb's bread, lef, Mary Jane, Mexican kilobrick (low-grade, highly-compressed import), mids (middle quality), mota, nick or nickel (a 5 dollar sack), dime (a 10 dollar sack), a dub sack (20 dollars), nodge (small amount of hashish), moss, Old Toby, O-Z , pakalolo (from Hawaii), Paul Zurawski, pot, regs (regular strength), Sampson, sensimilla or sensi, shake (leaf and seeds at bottom of bag), schwag (low quality), schwugs (middle quality - portmanteau of schwag and nugs), skunk, solid (resin), soap bar (low quality hash), sticky-icky-icky, sweet G, tea, tree, wacky tobacky/baccy, weed, bible worksheets, george, X box,Goofy Boots, headies, reefbuds, reefer, and Blifter (Thanks to the work of everyone contributing to Wikipedia)
I hate the smell of marijuana and the presumptuousness of some people who assume that I won't care if its foul stench wafts down my way. I hate walking along the sidewalk and having my nose assaulted by it. I hate smelling it when I am drinking my coffee. I loath how casually it has been accepted by society. I hate that my home province has become Pot Central, North America. I hate it when people from other parts of the country just assume that I am a pothead because I am from British Columbia. I hate it that people assume that I can hook them up. I probably could, but I won't. I hate some peoples' reactions when they find out that I have never smoked pot. Get over it.
I hate how stupid and giddy some women I know get when they smoke it. I hate that people with serious emotional and psychological problems "self-medicate" with pot rather than actually try to do something tangible about their problems. Perhaps it is better than hitting the bottle, but it still a crutch and not a solution.
All the above stated aside, I have many friends who smoke pot. I listen to drug oriented bands and enjoy Stoner Rock. I also believe it should at least be decriminalised if not legalised. I hate it but the "War on Drugs" is a sham, thus also a failure, and our courts have better things to spend its collective time on. I hate it when conservatives cling to their dogma concerning the issue and refuse to examine the problem in a realistic and rational way.
Thus endeth the diatribe.