Crapmas
CD in Play: Johnny Cash, American V - A Hundred Highways.
No offence to Jesus, but Christmas has lost its lustre. Christmas has become a time of loneliness, isolation and neuroses. My parents split when I was eight so I have always spent separate Christmases since that time. This year I'll be spending Christmas with my Mum for the first time in eight or seven years, which will be nice. Having recently discovered that she actually reads this blog, I won't state what I got her, but I think she'll like it.
Last year I became acutely aware of how many Christmases I spent with friends' families, like the Fasts, the Goudswards and the Chattaways a couple of times. But most of my friends have spouses and/or kids of their own, and they go to larger family functions here or elsewhere. Christmas in Montreal was spent with a woman I really should have avoided for my own mental well being. Not that she was the sole cause of my mental disintegration, nor am I trying to lay any blame on her.
This year I have had a number of dreams about getting fired or layed-off. In fact this morning, I dreamed a realistic dream that I the head of HR called, woke me up and told me they were letting me go becuase I answered my phone. I woke up with such a jolt, it was like being a kid and having the dream about being consumed by a multi-tentacled, shadowy beast. Or the one where you are falling.
Tis the season for mass lay-offs, fa-la-la-la-la, la la LA la/ Sign this paper and don't shoot your mouth off, fa-la-la-la-la, la la LA la.
Since November I have had subconscious fears about losing my job. I can't see it happening as security is a growth industry and having guards who show up on time and speak English fluently is a bonus. That sounds bad, but it is an industry problem right now. But there is that constant niggling that just won't go away until sometime around the middle of January. Yes the modern corporate world has helped destroy the season and turned Christmas in Crapmas.
BTW, Message to Chrisco - Piss Off!
No offence to Jesus, but Christmas has lost its lustre. Christmas has become a time of loneliness, isolation and neuroses. My parents split when I was eight so I have always spent separate Christmases since that time. This year I'll be spending Christmas with my Mum for the first time in eight or seven years, which will be nice. Having recently discovered that she actually reads this blog, I won't state what I got her, but I think she'll like it.
Last year I became acutely aware of how many Christmases I spent with friends' families, like the Fasts, the Goudswards and the Chattaways a couple of times. But most of my friends have spouses and/or kids of their own, and they go to larger family functions here or elsewhere. Christmas in Montreal was spent with a woman I really should have avoided for my own mental well being. Not that she was the sole cause of my mental disintegration, nor am I trying to lay any blame on her.
This year I have had a number of dreams about getting fired or layed-off. In fact this morning, I dreamed a realistic dream that I the head of HR called, woke me up and told me they were letting me go becuase I answered my phone. I woke up with such a jolt, it was like being a kid and having the dream about being consumed by a multi-tentacled, shadowy beast. Or the one where you are falling.
Tis the season for mass lay-offs, fa-la-la-la-la, la la LA la/ Sign this paper and don't shoot your mouth off, fa-la-la-la-la, la la LA la.
Since November I have had subconscious fears about losing my job. I can't see it happening as security is a growth industry and having guards who show up on time and speak English fluently is a bonus. That sounds bad, but it is an industry problem right now. But there is that constant niggling that just won't go away until sometime around the middle of January. Yes the modern corporate world has helped destroy the season and turned Christmas in Crapmas.
BTW, Message to Chrisco - Piss Off!
posted by Magnus at 22:55
4 Comments:
You're not alone in feeling crappy.
They don't officially celebrate Christmas here (except with a vengeance at shopping malls like Sogo, Mitzugoshi, and Chung-Yo where the Christmas music of the most bizarre arrangements and sorts is blasted with an insane gusto.
To tell you the truth I feel sick of Taiwan, with its six day work weeks, it's insane logic (they open all the windows in the winter despite it being 10 degrees celsius (they claim it will keep the kids from getting colds, but hello, has anyone heard of preventing e coli, SARS, bird flu, and any number of other germs in the West by washing with soap and WARM WATER? - no they haven't and speaking of warm water, there is only cold water in the bathroom and kitchen sinks. I can put up with this being the case in the kitchen sinks but hot water is so important for sanitation, so living in the school, as I do, I end up freezing my butt off even when I am in my room. I had a fight with my boss about it. I am getting sick and angry and just want to get away from all of the arcane rules and conservatism and uptight values they have here.
Merry Chrismas to you, but the best kind, with positive surprises. And hey, Magnus.
What is Chrisco?
Ooh. Are we having a pity fest? Cool. Let's see.
Um...
Hmm...
Well, uh...nope.
Erm.
Sorry guys, just can't do it. Life's too short. Once you have kids, it's tough to keep eyes firmly afixed to one's own navel.
And Christmas starts to hold a bit of wonderment again. Sure, it's too commercial, but people have been saying that for decades. I'm finding it pretty easy to ignore that side of things, but that might be partially due to living in a town with, like, two stores. It's tough to get overwhelmed by commercialism when there is little commerce around.
Anyway. Good luck to you both surviving the season.
Trent - you urged me to make the blog personal, so careful what you wish for. My most has nothing to do with commercialisation, my views on that can be extrapollated from previous posts.
Thoth - Chrisco is this company the sends out flyers and people buy into it getting these food hampers sent to them. Of course the food they send would appear to be ones with a tonne of trans fats. the commercials are so sacharine they should be banned for the health and well-being of diabetics everywhere.
"Once you have kids, it's tough to keep eyes firmly afixed to one's own navel."
No it's not. Just put them near your navel.
Seriously though...the whole point is if there was something worth distracting you from being moody you wouldn't BE moody would you? Glad you have something...not everyone is able to...although I will agree part of it is attitude.
Try not to let it get to you Magnus (and Thoth). J finds this time pretty wierd too. It's dark a lot, and everyone is caught up in spending and very little to do with christmas. Plus my parents are here for a whole weeek and he's always self conscious around them...should be stressful. I'm pretty happy go lucky myself. I haven't hit a the mood yet, but I'd like time off alone with J for a bit where we were both happy and awake and not cranky. It's hard to come by at times.
I'm a little distracted as I'm working hard with my Dad doing reno stuff, so I've got more going on than him and I'm really excited about it...suppose holidays are different for everyone.
Hope you have good ones.
I'm hoping that by planning to and by trying to I will. I finf half the time it is the intent that is the main thing.
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