Tuesday, February 07, 2006


CDs in Play: Trans Am, Red Line. Dirty Three, eponymous. Boredoms, Vision Creation Newsun.

The Super Bowl, Sports, Faux Scotsmen and the SoBNQGf

As anyone who knows me knows, I don't care about professional sports in the least. Occasionally I get interested in hockey or some other sport, but it is very short term. I do like World Cup and Olympic level competitions, but that is a whole different thing. It was the Super Bowl on Saturday and I went to a Super Bowl party. Did anyone really watch or care about the game? No, it was an excuse to throw a party. It was a mellow event and I had a good time.
Monday. I am out and about hunting for a job. All day I hear disgruntled Seahawks fans grousing on about the game. To be fair, I was disappointed for Seattle as well. I think of it as a brother city. (LA is officially one of our sister cities - a big whore of a sister if you ask me) Anyhow, I walk into a coffee shop on Commercial and this guy is going on and on about the game. He attempted to drag me into the conversation. Guys like this do not comprehend people like me. Sports is everything to them and they have to drag everyone into their obsession. It happens every year during the hockey season. My way of combating this is to pretend I am not from around here. That means putting on the best and most realistic accent I can do, the Scottish accent.

Fanatic: "Don't you agree? That was a bad call the linesman made! That was total interference! Right?! Don't you agree?! That totally cost Seattle!"
Me: "Ah doew'nt knoe, Ah dinna wahtch thuh game."
F: "You're not into football."
M: "Ai, Ah am. Bit tah meh, ah fitbaw's rruund an' yah keck it dune tha feuld."
Dissapointed he began badgering other people. Another example of this was New Years '98 into '99. I was driving my sort-of-but-not-quite-girlfriend (hereto known as the SoBNQGf) home from a night out downtown. We stopped at a 7-11 where a lonely, drunken Canuck fan was doing what lonely, drunken Canuck fans do best: hassle the clerks and customers. Foolishly I went to pay for my goods where the drunken irritant had set up his one man gauntlet. At this point I would like to thank author Irvine Welsh for teaching what little I know about UK soccer.
Drunken Irritant: "Heeeyyy, let's hear it fur the Canucks! You think they're gunna go all the way!"
Me: "Ah've no clue."
DI: "Waddaya mean ya don't know?! Ain't you a Canucks fan?! You ain't one of them Oilers fans, er Toronto fans are ya?!"
Me: "Ah dinna fallow hock'eh at all, mate."
DI: "Huh."
Me: "Ah dinna fallow hock'eh."
DI: "What?! Yuh don't follow hockey! How come?"
Me: "Well, Ah'm no frum aruund hair."
DI: "Where're you from?"
Me: "Scotland."
DI: "Oh yeah? So whaddaya follow then?"
Me: "Fitbaw."
DI: "Huh?"
Me: "Fitbaw... (stares at me blankly) Soccer!"
DI: "Oh yeah! So who's yer favourite club? Manchester United?"
Me: "Manchester!!!! Fuuk thaat! Man U?! Hibs, mate!
DI: "Hibs?"
Me: "Tha's right fuuking own mate! Edinburgh's own! The Greens! Go you Celts!!!"
(**note of trivia: Edinburgh is also one of Vancouver's Sister Cities)

I excused myself and left with the SoBNQGf, who had a good laugh about the whole thing once we had driven out of the parking lot. In retrospect, if a moment like that wasn't enough to get her to love me, then I suppose nothing would have.

Job Hunting

I have almost given up on Monster.ca. The only people who seem to post job listing in the Lower Mainland are job placement agencies. I want nothing to do with them and it would seem the feeling is mutual. Seriously, Monster's Vancouver listing are almost all from placement agencies, especially Angus One. This is not the case in other parts of the country, where people seem quite content to do some of their own hiring. So many people seem to expect pre-trained employees. One man actually told me he doesn't have the time to train people, he has a business to run. So many people around here say the same thing - so who the hell is doing the training? My Conclusion? Vancouver's employers are some of the laziest in Canada. If I had the money I would be out of here in a snap.
Geosomin - do not retire here. The weather is not worth it. Not that I wouldn't want to see you and J on a more regular basis - but let us all plan to retire somewhere else. Spain anyone?

Televised Crack

Maybe it is shameful to admit an addiction to a television series, but I my ego has taken a beating over the last decade so what's one more thing? Aside from Weapons that Made Britain, a mini-series, there are three shows that I am currently "addicted to: the new Battlestar Galactica, Da Vinci's City Hall and 24.
I was in Montreal and didn't have cable when 24 began. Actually, I had a life so I really didn't stay at home much if it could be helped. I rented the first two seasons on DVD lest year and became hooked from there. Still haven't seen season three and only seen snippets of season four. The character played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer, is a likable couter-terrorist agent with few quams about resorting to torture. In many respects the show is the complete opposite of what I am about, but it is so damned addictive. Season five hasn't been that strong but I still dial in to see watch the hours tick down to the season's finale.
The new Battlestar Galactica is vastly superior to the old series. Space, Canada's science fiction channel, ran the old series again last autumn. Sometimes you really can't go home again. The old series is riddled with poor writing, poor stories, poor effects, poor acting and a tonne of reused footage. Some of the episodes are fun, but it just doesn't stand up, imho.
The new series is much darker, much more complex. One thing it does better that alomost any show on the air is document the passage of time. (the exception being 24, but that is 24's whole gimmic) I have been able to jump ahead of most Canadian veiwers and am currently up to episode 15. (Space is only up to episode 5, I think) Shot in Vancouver and featuring a lot of outstanding talent from here - it should be said that my dislike of for the city of my birth always takes a backseat to something worthwhile that has been produced here. The mood, setting, cinematography, character development and story arc beats every sci-fi show that has come before it. Sci-fi for grown-ups.
Da Vinci's City Hall grew out of Da Vinci's Inquest, which was loosely based on former cop, coroner, mayor of Vancouver and now Liberal Senator, Larry Campbell. The show also loosely follows events that have taken place in the city of Vancouver. While we have never had an official, regulated Red Light District, the idea has been kicking around here for well over a decade - maybe even two as far as my memory goes.
The show is a good way for people to cut through the postcard propaganda and tourist board crap about Vancouver and get to know something about the real city, a city in decay. A city that has been decaying for a long time under both the NPA and COPE civic parties, but has and is still in a state of denial about it. Many American shows overplay the danger and corrosion that exists on their streets. (see shows like The Equalizer) DVI/DVCH tends to show the city as it really is and maybe even underplays it to a certain extent.
Anyhow, those are my televised addictions of late.

Time to do something good for myself, like go for a walk. After all DVCH is on at 9pm!


Blogger I Hate . . . said...

Thanks for playing. Visit me often. And yes, I want to be your friend.


07 February, 2006 18:40  
Anonymous tammy-cat said...

What is a "sort-of-but-not-not quite-girlfreind"? A friend with benefits? A friend with no benefits but you wish had benefits? Is it like Jerry and Elaine? Please explain this.
I remeber your Scottish accent from work, it was good.
BTW, I 'll bet that anonymous post is a scammer. Don't do it! Spyware 101.

08 February, 2006 01:08  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What is a sobnnqgf? A girl you take out to dinner/movies three times a week yet never get any action?


08 February, 2006 07:24  
Blogger Magnus said...

SoBNQGf: Has nothing to do with friends with benefits. It is an ambiguous relationship where you are more than friends, less that lovers.
There was an immense and intense emotional depth there but no sex. That also is because of religious beliefs, I might add. It was also a very 90's kind of relationship, ambiguous, hard to call. We were together 5-6 times a week for quite a long stretch of time.
In some ways it was similar to the relationship between Jake Barnes and Brett Ashley in Hemmingway's The Sun Also Rises. I still have genitalia, however. And, fittingly enough, she and I would disagree on the interprtation of the nature of Ashley and Barnes. Beyond that is no one's business.

08 February, 2006 09:22  
Blogger Geosomin said...

Ah, an SoBNQGf. I know all about that. I have had the SoBNQGf experience. The story of my life really until I met my husband. Even then we took so long to go forward and admit our feelings as we were scared of ruining our friendship. Luckily we did. I'm so glad.

I think Spain is a great idea. You pick the place, we'll bring the wine.

08 February, 2006 11:22  
Blogger Magnus said...

But your experience was a SoBNQBf, right? Or I have made some really indiscrete remarks in the past?
Where in Spain? Well, my friend Gavin would push for Barcelona - even if he weren't going along. Maybe Cadiz or Valencia?

08 February, 2006 18:08  
Anonymous David and Rachel Rosenthal said...

What is a sobnnqgf? A girl you take out to dinner/movies three times a week yet never get any action?

I don't know who you are or if you know the author or not, but that reads like a pretty crass and cheap shot. Why does a relationship have to be defined by sex? Were my wife and I not really in a relationship until after our marriage, because we decided to wait?
To the author: You should publish your stories about sports fans, very amusing. Good luck with the job hunt.

08 February, 2006 18:31  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You didn't score so it doesn't count. Get over it! Religious reasons? Were/are you all that devoted to your "faith"? From what I have read on your blog I doubt it.


09 February, 2006 00:37  
Blogger Geosomin said...

Hmmm...someone needs an anonymous enema. Cuz yeah, scoring is what makes it all "real"...grow up would ya? Geez...faith has very little to do with it in my mind. It's about commitment, respect and emotional intimacy. I mean if that's how you're looking at it, as the mark of a real relationship, how special is your relationship anyways? I...sorry. You know, I won't rant. I'm just being mean.

Magnus, I was referring to me *being* the SoBNNQGf. Now that I think of it, there werw a couple of women who would have liked to make *me* a SoBNNQGf tho...but my bread doesn't butter on that side.

Anyways, Barcelona sounds alright. I've always wanted to go there. I'll have to pull out a map and have a look see.

09 February, 2006 07:57  
Blogger Magnus said...

Hmmm, I am kind of getting the itch to see Cadiz... Pete would like Cadiz, it was founded by the Phonecians. But then we could just drift throughout Spain, appropriate with the mentioning of The Sun Also Rises.
As for people like EM (no one I know, I hope) all I have to say on the subject of the SoBNQGf and scoring is that it is now closed. Any further comments will just simply be deleted. That is it.

09 February, 2006 09:13  
Anonymous Trent said...

Wow. 11 comments.

Let's make it 12, why don't we?

But weren't you supposed to be talking about Metallica and GC?

09 February, 2006 09:47  
Blogger Magnus said...

Metallica coming up. Getting quite long so I dropped the Cowboys for now. I don't actually own my own copy of Machine Fish anyhow, but I will look at it when I have another disc to look back on in retrospect.
BTW, I really only count it as 9 comments since I don't think my replies should factor into the count.
To the Rosenthals - I am considering an ariticle based on the sports stories, actually. I have another post that I should submit as well (Me and My Louisville) but have never been able to end the article appropriately.

09 February, 2006 12:37  
Anonymous Magnus said...

DVCH has been cancelled!!! Bloody CBC! What? All this good programming has been too much for them? Time to get back to their usuall run of the mill crap? $#^%$%^!!!!!!!

14 February, 2006 01:42  

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