Cry for the Youth of Today
University for Dummies
The recent power outage has given me scary insight into the future of this country. I don't think some of the students here have ever been in a power outage before. I am not sure that is possible, but most just seemed so clueless as to what was going on. I had to field a lot of stupid inqueries so, bastard that I am, I thought I'd share some of these with you:
1. When's the power coming back on? Is the power coming back on soon? Why did the power go out? - Valid queries in their own right, but am I really the man to ask? Is anyone at the university really the right person to ask? After legions of people walking up and phoning in to ask these questions (in some individual cases, more than once and up to four times++) it becomes hard to take these questions seriously and I start to roll out the impressions of the Great Carnack and Mentok the Mindtaker. Hmmm... I forsee a dark future...
2. Why is the Library closed? Does this mean we can't play in the Games Room? - The Games Room is a place they set up with a number of games consoles from different eras: Pong, Atari, Intelevision, Sega, Nitendo, Playstation, X-Box 360, etc. Since game design goes on in the University, the place is often regarded as a research centre. (*cough*) Anyhow, These particular young men had just been talking about how their computer lab was canceled - what to do? Oh hey! Lets go to games room and play multi-player Halo! Um... hi boys... if you can't go to your comp-sci lab because of the power outage, what makes you think you can hit the games room?
3. Caller: "Has the power come back on?"
Me: "It did come back at 11:30 but it just went out again at 7:30 this morning. Non-technology dependent classes are still running, though."
Caller: "Okay... um are there any computer labs up and running?"
Me: "Well, the power is out so - no."
Caller: "Are you sure?"
Me: "I'm quite sure."
Caller: "Are you absolutely sure?"
Me: "Yes, the power is out therefore computers will not operate."
Caller: "Well... is the student lounge microwave working?"
Me: "Again, the power is out, so no it isn't working."
I have a picture in my mind of a student sitting in a dimly lit apartment munching on frozen instant dinners.
4. (P3 enterance door intercom rings) Me: "Hello?"
Student: "Hello please to let me inside now. I am a student"
Me: "Sorry but the signs clearly indicate the university is closed due to to the outage."
Student: "But I have to drop off assignment?"
Me. "I can't let you into the building for reasons of liability, you'll have to come back tomorrow. (Student becomes visibly agitated, straightens arms and starts to pace) Don't worry, these are exceptional circumstances and I am sure that your prof...*"
Student: (Thrashing violently) "I HAVE TO TURN IN MY ASSIGNMET! IT IS DUE TOMORROW! YOU HAVE TO LET ME IN! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!"
I am not over-exaggerating here, though I am guessing at some of what he might have screamed since it became quite unintelligible going into the scream itself. He screamed like a pubescent boy whose voice was in the middle of the cracking phase. My colleague took the paper and delivered it. But this student was just one extreme example of a number of students who don't seem familiar with the notion of a grace period. In situations like this alotments are made for freaks of nature and the like. One guy tried playing each of us off of the other like a brat playing his mother off his father in order to get the result he wants.
Our dim and blunted stars for a gloomier tomorrow.