Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Why Vote When You Could Masturbate?

At least masturbation would be more productive. Here in Canada, we have a choice between Stephen Harper, Stéphane Dion, Jack Layton or Gilles Duceppe if you live in Quebec. Oh and Whats-her-face, Elizabeth May, for the Green Party. It may seem like we have a lot of choices, but you would be wrong. None of these people would make a good Prime Minister. Harper is out of step and scary. Dion is an insipid dip. Layton is everything I have come to hate about the NDP since after 1988. And May? What about her? No, really - what about her? Whenever election day is going to be just take my advice: stay in bed.
As for our American cousins, I don't envy you either. John McCain doesn't inspire confidence. He's far too old guard and, frankly, there are some concerning, long-standing allegations about his war record in Vietnam and his time as a POW. Sydney Schanberg, best known for his coverage of the Killing Fields in Cambodia, has written about McCain's reluctance to have the files on certain Vietnam POWs declassified on many occasions. I found one such article at the Village Voice. There are other articles on this subject, including at Vietnam Veterans against John McCain. McCain is scary.
Then we have Barack Obama and Hilary Clinton. I have never been a fan of Hilary Clinton and I didn't care for her husband either. I think they are both individuals of questionable character and I wouldn't trust them with the keys to my car, let alone with an entire country. As for Barack Obama, what is all the hype about? The man's rhetoric has about as much substance as the meringue in a lemon meringue pie. He's truly gifted in politspeak. If his words were images, I'd call him an illusionist. I heard him and Clinton debating about the Cuban question. Aside from the usual no imagination, no recognition of the USA's past wrongs to Cuba, the debate just solidified how empty Obama's rhetoric really is. Anyone hoping for change in America si going to find this man a woeful disappointment.
Perhaps it is best I leave you, oh my potential voters, with two poems by e.e. cummings.

the way to hump a cow is not
the way to hump a cow is not
to get yourself a stool
but draw a line around the spot
and call it beautifool

to multiply because and why
dividing thens by nows
and adding and(i understand)
is hows to hump a cows

the way to hump a cow is not
to elevate your tool
but drop a penny in the slot
and bellow like a bool

to lay a wreath from ancient greath
on insulated brows
(while tossing boms at uncle toms
is hows to hump a cows

the way to hump a cow is not
to push and then to pull
but practicing the art of swot
to preach the golden rull

to vote for me(all decent mem
and wonens will allows
which if they don't to hell with them)
is hows to hump a cows

Poem, Or Beauty Hurts Mr. Vinal

take it from me kiddo
believe me
my country, 'tis of

you, land of the Cluett
Shirt Boston Garter and Spearmint
Girl With The Wrigley Eyes (of you
land of the Arrow Ide
and Earl &
Collars) of you i
sing:land of Abraham Lincoln and Lydia E. Pinkham,
land above all of Just Add Hot Water And Serve--
from every B. V. D.

let freedom ring

amen. i do however protest, anent the un
-spontaneous and otherwise scented merde which
greets one (Everywhere Why) as divine poesy per
that and this radically defunct periodical. i would

suggest that certain ideas gestures
rhymes, like Gillette Razor Blades
having been used and reused
to the mystical moment of dullness emphatically are
Not To Be Resharpened. (Case in point

if we are to believe these gently O sweetly
melancholy trillers amid the thrillers
these crepuscular violinists among my and your
skyscrapers-- Helen & Cleopatra were Just Too Lovely,
The Snail's On The Thorn enter Morn and God's
In His andsoforth

do you get me?) according
to such supposedly indigenous
throstles Art is O World O Life
a formula: example, Turn Your Shirttails Into
Drawers and If It Isn't An Eastman It Isn't A
Kodak therefore my friends let
us now sing each and all fortissimo A-

ca, I
You. And there're a
hun-dred-mil-lion-oth-ers, like
all of you successfully if
delicately gelded (or spaded)
gentlemen (and ladies)-- pretty

americans (who tensetendoned and with
upward vacant eyes, painfully
perpetually crouched, quivering, upon the
sternly allotted sandpile
--how silently
emit a tiny violetflavoured nuisance: Odor?

comes out like a ribbon lies flat on the brush


Blogger Trent said...

You're just trying to provoke me to comment, aren't you?

27 February, 2008 16:39  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Obama is the future. I believe he's going to change America.

27 February, 2008 18:34  
Blogger Magnus said...

Obama is a gaseous wind-bag and I seriously doubt he's make an impact of any sort of significance.

28 February, 2008 09:05  
Blogger nogi said...

However, he is black, and if elected, he will go down in history as being the first black president.

Now, if we could only figure out a way to put Obama and Clinton into that teleport device from the fly; then we'd have the first black female as president. That'd be cool.

Who cares about politics and impacts when we can be more concerned about race and sex?

I don't agree with you on Obama. Don't disagree, just think Canadians spend far too much time worrying about American politics, and so have ignored most of the whole thing. Besides, the American presidential race is a bit like baseball. You have the regular season primaries which drag on for an extremely long time. It only gets interesting when you hit the world series. Then you declare sides and cheer for your favourite, claiming to be a lifelong fan.

28 February, 2008 12:03  
Anonymous Trent said...

Oh. That was me, BTW.

28 February, 2008 12:19  
Blogger Magnus said...


28 February, 2008 13:44  
Blogger Magnus said...

Thoth Harris wrote in another post: "I disagree with you about Obama. Magnus, you used to like Obama. Unless an asteroid hits, I am continuing to root for Obama. I agree with your anonymous commenter. Obama is like a cross between FDR and Lincoln. This year, politically speaking, Americans, for once, are luckier than we are."

I did think highly of him in the beginning, but then I listened to him more and more. There is a great Texan expression that fits the Obama I have seen emerging: "All hat and no cattle".
He says a lot, but there isn't much content to his words. He says things people (like yourself) are wanting to here, but his words have begun to ring a little hollow in my ears. My Dad compares him Trudeau. Trudeau had swept up many Canadians with similar rhetoric,(remember people talking about Trudeau-mania?) which proved to be quite empty once he took office. He has a certain charisma, but as Kim Campbell said about Bill Vander Zalm, “Charisma without substance is a dangerous thing.”
As for Lincoln and FDR, the more I read of these people in A People's History of the United States the less I like them. Lincoln was a racist scumbag. That he could be a hero to any black person or any forward thinking person is of utter amazement to me and sure sign of how heavily propagandized American history is.
As for establishing a precedent, I agree that it is high time fopr political leadership to cease being the old boys club. Should a black man be president? Should a woman? Yes, of course, but let them be people of good character, or substance and value. I don't like anyone poised to take the leadership of the USA (and their leadership is a concern for everyone outside the USA - Canadians in particular. Anyone who trivializes that point is being an idiot)
The system isn't going to be fixed by electing someone of colour or the opposite sex. The corruption is far too entrenched and far too alluring. I suppose if I were in America I probably would vote rather than masturbate - I'd vote for Nader. A white man, yes, but the right person.

29 February, 2008 09:38  
Blogger Thoth Harris said...

You kind of trailed off regarding Lincoln and FDR. You said Lincoln was a racist - but you never provided any solid examples from that book you say you are reading.

Most crucially, however, after saying you like these guys less and less - you never said one single thing about Roosevelt! He was the guy who put all the social programs into American public life, and that remain today! Except, of course, Bush, Bush, and Reagan have stripped those programs away since then.

As for being all hat - well, in certain times, we need someone who isn't going to just butt into everything. Sometimes good speeches are what is needed. And Obama is darn good at good speeches. He has spoken his mind about Wright, and didn't sell him down the river. Which proves that he isn't just a politically correct puppet willing to say anything to get elected, unlike Harper, Dion, and Layton.

05 April, 2008 00:07  

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